Saying Yes to Sex

For many in our culture, Christianity is little more than a “No!” religion. They view our faith as an endless list of “no this” and “no that.” This is especially true of the Sixth Commandment. Christians who take God at His Word are seen as sexual prudes by a culture that is sex crazed and sexually immoral. It is true that Holy Scripture prohibits many things related to sexuality. No adultery. No fornication. No homosexual acts. No sexual immorality. No lust. No coveting.

All of those things are true. But “No!” is only half the story. When it comes to sexuality, Holy Scripture beautifully sets forth a God-given “Yes!”

Sexuality is a gift from God. “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27). Why two and not just one? Because “it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). There is only one God, and yet He is a plurality of persons—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. So also humanity is a plurality—male and female. The woman is “a helper fit for” the man (Genesis 2:18).

Man and woman fit together beautifully within this divine design. In fact, God created them so that “a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). In Holy Scripture “one flesh” means sexual relations. Thus, sex comes with a definite “Yes!” from God, within the sacred institution of marriage. One of the chief reasons God created sexuality is the procreation of children. “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). That’s God speaking. Again, He’s saying “Yes!” to sex, within the sacred institution of marriage.

Since the fall into sin, God also designates marriage as a partial remedy against temptation. “Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2).

All of this marriage and sex talk is ultimately wrapped up in the divine mystery of Christ and His bride—the Church:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [Ephesians 5:25-32]

The reason why adultery, fornication, homosexual acts, sexual immorality, lust, and covetousness are sinful is because they take what is good and holy—sex within marriage—and adulterate it with self-seeking pursuits. Christ has one bride. He laid down His life for her. He is ever faithful to her. Every marriage is to be a reflection of that redemptive fact.

So don’t be afraid to confess God’s “No!” when it comes to sexual sins. And don’t forget to also add God’s “Yes!” when it comes to sex within marriage. There is virtue in God’s divine design. It’s called chastity—both before and within marriage. Just as Saint Paul told the Christians in Corinth, so I tell you: “I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure [chaste!] virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2).

As Lutherans, we have this beautifully spelled out in the Small Catechism, where Luther’s explanation to the Sixth Commandment doesn’t focus at all on the “No!” (which certainly could be done!), but solely on the “Yes!” of sex. “We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honor each other.”

Let us read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest these words, and by God’s grace practice them, to the glory of God and for the good of our neighbor.